Personal Space

Americans sometimes joke about having personal space bubbles around them and not being comfortable with people invading that bubble by standing too closely, being too touchy or huggy, or sitting too close. When I moved to the States a little over a decade ago I found these bubbles to be sad and alienating, and was rather discouraged by how distant Americans were. I went from cultures and countries where physical closeness was normative to one where most people were islands. I actually chose which church to attend based largely on how many Eastern

Crowded Zhongyang Dajie.

European immigrants attended it already. Their kisses - a normal part of greetings in many parts of the world - and Old World manners helped ease my homesickness and loneliness a great deal.

That being the case, as I've settled into Harbin it's come as a surprise to me to discover how much of a bubble I've developed over the past few years! Even with short-term moves to Eastern Europe and Africa I've still managed to develop a zone of physical space within which I'm comfortable, and which I'm uncomfortable having violated. And it is violated on a daily basis here! In the elevator, on the bus, walking down the street, shopping at the grocery store - everywhere you go there are people popping out of the woodwork it seems, and precious little personal space to go around.

Something refreshing about all of this change - uncomfortable as it has been - is seeing how relaxed people are with the presence of others. When someone gets on the elevator they don't stand in the corner opposite from me, more often than not they're right next me. Likewise on the bus, where people will often settle their children on strangers' laps if there's no seating available for them. And if I bump into someone by accident pretty much anywhere there's no need for the Canadian sorries and apologies that spring to my lips - it happens all the time, and is a complete non-event. (Hugs and greeting kisses seem to be another thing entirely - I haven't seen much of either since arriving here. To each their own though!)

It's been strange discovering that I've developed a bubble, and awkwardly delightful deconstructing it bit by bit over the past month. If nothing else Harbin has reminded me of who I was and is helping me reclaim it, and for that I am grateful!