Make New Traditions and Keep the Old

There's a lovely song about friendship, with the line "make new friends, but keep the old," which is definitely worth doing! I've found it's also worth doing with household traditions. My family moved a fair amount when I was growing up, but my parents always tried to keep some continuity in our family's celebration of North American holidays. Christmas might not always have been white, but it was still Christmas! Certain desserts were always around, gifts were exchanged, and as far as I remember there was always some sort of tree.

I'm not sure I fully appreciated the work my parents did to give our family that sort of continuity. I've been doing some reading lately about immigrants' experiences in other countries, and all too often it's just too difficult to even try to keep up holidays from 'the old country,' wherever that may be. I must confess to have done a fair amount of coasting myself after secondary school. As the moves kept coming after university, however, I realized that there had to be some sort of continuity in my life since people and places weren't always it.

Since that realization I've done my best - through the disruptions and the moves - to keep the holidays that are dear to my heart. Some are cultural, others are religious. The celebrations vary drastically from year to year. I've made Indian food for Thanksgiving dinner and I often double up on Christmas celebrations due to family and social obligations. But something happens, because keeping to some form of my personal traditions gives my life a structure and rootedness it needs. And while my traditions give me some much needed rootedness, my calendar's always open. If a time and a place become dear to me through a new holiday in a new place, then that holiday will likely join my personal pantheon. I fully expect Lunar New Year or the Mid-Autumn Festival or some other Chinese holiday to become part of my personal culture, if not while I'm resident here in Harbin, then after I've moved on to my next home.

Wherever you are or wherever you're headed, I'd encourage you to think about what holidays and traditions are important to you. Think about ways you can maintain them. Be flexible! Not being able to get this or that shouldn't make or break a holiday for you, 'cause there are plenty of places where what's normal to you may be exotic and impossible to find. And if you're moving far from where you consider to be home to a new country and culture, don't trust that you'll have other Americans or Zulu or Chinese or whoever already there to connect with around your special days. The burden may be on you to keep what's yours, and it's better to be prepared to take the lead than to wake up on Christmas morning bummed out about being in an undecorated apartment with no plans to celebrate the day even with something as simple as a plate of cookies.

Happy holidays, everyone!